Parenthood: Thierry, Grecia & Eva-Amaris

Credits:  Photographer: Sach ID |  Writer: Claudia Rwigamba 

Parenthood - the state of being a parent and the responsibilities involved.

Parenting is a life-changing journey that constantly changes. Speaking to first-time parents Thierry & Grecia, we get the sense that Eva-Amaris has been the bundle of joy that changed everything. The parenthood series is to highlight the parental and intergenerational relations within families in this series. As we visited the family home, there was a sense of comfort and warmth that can be felt in the air. Although Eva-Amaris had a lot to say, we wanted to focus on the new parents and their evolving journey into parenthood.

How are you embracing Parenthood?

Grecia: I don't think there's anything that could've prepared us for this. You can read all the blogs, speak to other moms, and do your YouTube research, but nothing prepares you for the changes. For me, it was incredibly life-changing because now everything I do is according to her.

Did you have a hard time accepting the change?

Thierry: At a certain point, yes. You got used to your life, so sometimes, the transition can be difficult. But now that we've found our rhythm and understand her more, it gets better. It is good to remember that a child is constantly changing, so you have to be able to adapt and change with them. Evolve.

Grecia: I found it very difficult. As a mom, there are a lot of things you go through before and after. From pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding to postpartum, and on top of that, there's a baby. My instincts were thrown off because my hormones were taking over. It's like I was in a learning phase but had no time to learn because I was experiencing the struggles of being a mom in real-time. Because I am someone who isn't the most emotional, going through all this has brought me much closer to my feelings. I was constantly crying! I can live my emotions now, which is a fantastic feeling.

(To Grecia) During your postpartum, what were the most significant changes you faced?

For sure, my body changed a lot. As a person who had self-esteem issues, I had already done the work necessary to love and accept myself as I am. That helped me when I gave birth because I developed immense respect for my body and what it could do.

However, specific changes were intense. Many babies in my family were relatively easy, but Eva was something else. There were many unexpected incidents and problems that I constantly had to stay on top of. It felt like one thing after another, and that was discouraging. At a certain point, I started to feel alone even though I had a lot of support. Call it my mommy instincts, but I could feel her discomfort, and I felt guilty. I started to doubt myself a lot. Is it me? Am I eating something that's hurting you? What am I doing wrong?

Now that we're out of it, it's been much better. But it was hard at first.

Has your definition of being a mom or dad changed now that she's here?

Thierry: Not for me. Becoming a dad never made me want to be someone different; I always wanted to stay true to myself. Yes, I am a dad, but I am still Thierry. I want to show her who I am, not just a made-up image of myself. I also didn't have a conception of what a father was because mine was not in my life. The only perception I have is of myself, and so, that's what I decided I wanted to show her. 

Grecia: I knew he was going to be a good dad. When you're missing something in your childhood, you make sure to be able to give that to your child. But for me, I had expectations! I thought it would be easy, like the pregnancies of the women in my family. Never could I have imagined living what I did with Eva. It taught me not to compare and that each baby or person is different.

It's easy to get caught up in the expectations we set! Are you trying to keep from imposing them on her?

Thierry: Regardless of where you're from, you will always want the best for your kid. Of course, I have my hopes and dreams for her, but I would never want that to blur the path set for her. 

Grecia: I want to break cycles that happen in my family. I'm not trying to recreate the negative in the education of Eva. I'm aware of what was missing for me as a child, so it's even more vital for me to be present. I'm very intentional about that. I want her to feel loved and protected and that she senses a positive presence from me.

The love can be felt! The novelty of becoming parents seems to have left, and everything seems to be working in symbiosis. Each of them constantly adapts to one another as they grow together. Parenting comes with its challenges. It will take you through a roller coaster ride of emotions. And sometimes the only thing you can do is support each other and do your best.