Parenthood: Judy & Jaylan
Credits: Photographer: Sach ID | Writer: Claudia Rwigamba 
Parenthood - the state of being a parent and the responsibilities involved.
Although many experience it at once, parenthood is a very personal journey. A bond between mother and child begins before they are even born. We can immediately notice this when being with our first family in the Parenthood series: Judy and Jaylan. We got together with the pair in Judy's childhood neighborhood and it didn’t take long for Jaylan to assess his environment and get comfortable!
We wanted to highlight the parental and intergenerational relations within families in this series. Our journeys are not the same, and the obstacles we face can be the reason we are standing today. As we figured out areas to shoot, it was beautiful to see their mother and son dynamic. We took the opportunity to ask Judy a few questions about her journey with motherhood and how it changed her life for the better.
What was your life before Jay?
Another world. I didn't grow up in a perfect family, it wasn't easy, and I wasn’t really sheltered. I was self-centered and believed the world revolved around me, doing whatever I wanted because I didn't care for anything. I had no regard for myself or the choices I was making at the time.
I would definitely say that I was lost, and I didn’t know what I wanted out of life. I was really living just to live … that made me reckless and incredibly impulsive.
What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant?
I actually found out late in my pregnancy. I was young and in a bad headspace so it wasn’t a joyous occasion. I was in denial for a long time because this wasn’t how I imagined myself having a kid. I wish I would’ve snapped out of it sooner, it could’ve avoided certain problems with my son.
Once I accepted my decision and accepted him, there was absolutely no regret. But these are lessons that I wish I understood sooner. Being more careful, being more mindful of my health and well-being, and paying closer attention to my decisions and their consequences. It would’ve saved Jaylan and me a lot of pain.
How did becoming a mother change you?
It changed me completely. When he was born, I was reborn with him. Sometimes I wonder if I would still be alive if I hadn’t had him. I was so selfish then that it took me having a big belly to acknowledge that this was real! It isn't just me anymore, and that was hard to accept, to be honest. Because now all the decisions I make affect him, even my bad ones. I have to think everything through because I don’t want my mistakes to fall on him. Becoming a mother allowed me to give him my all; it saved my life. I want Jaylan to be better than me, have more than I did and feel how loved he is. He made my life meaningful, and I will always be grateful for him.
